Want to know why?
by StolenProdigy
Summary: Jade tells Cat how she really feels. T because I'm paranoid. Sorry for the short summary I'm really bad at writing them


Yeah I don't even know what this is to be quite honest , just some random shoz that came into my brain, Written in the point of view of Jade in format to Cat enjoy I guess

R&R

* * *

**the artists and their song names to the paragraph are in order they appear**

**Ellie Goulding - Your song**

**Wretch 32 ft josh kumra - Don't go**

**Lea Salonga - Don't Know What To Do, Don't Know What To Say**

**Regina Spektor - How**

**Katy Perry - Wide Awake**

**Let it shine - me and you**

**Mouldy Peaches - Anyone else but you**

**The script - The man who can't be moved**

**The script - The man who can't be moved**

**Adele - Someone like you**

**Sia - Breath me**

**Cat Power - Sea of love**

**Katy Perry - Wide Awake**

**Florence and the Machine - Only for a night**

**Miley Cyrus - I miss you**

**Miley Cyrus - I miss you**

**Wretch 32 ft josh kumra - Don't go**

**Adele - Someone like you**

**Adele - Skyfall**

**Emile Sande - Read all about it part 3**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Adele - Make you feel my love**

**Jason Mraz - I'm yours**

**Jason Mraz - I'm yours**

**Jason Mraz - I won't give up**

**Ellen Varner - I don't care**

**The script the - Man who can't be moved**

**Jason Mraz I'm yours**

**The Lumineers - Ho Hey**

**Sally Seltman - Harmony to my heartbeat**

**Sally Seltman - Harmony to my heartbeat**

**Emile Sande Read all about it part 3**

**Dot Rotten - I don't wanna breath**

**Bob ft taylor swift - Both of us**

**Christina perry - Distance**

**Christina Perry - Distance**

**Selena gomez ft the scene - Who says?**

**Cat Power - Sea of love**

**Ellie Goulding - Halcyon**

**Paul Van Dyke - eternity**

**Kimya Dawson - So nice so smart**

**Lenka - everything at once**

**Lenka - everything at once**

**Lenka - everything at once**

**Lenka - everything at once**

**Kimya Dawson - So nice so smart**

**One Direction - Little things**

**One Direction - Little things**

**Black eyes peas - just can't get enough**

**One direction - little things**

**Let it shine - me and you**

**Let it shine - me and you**

**Let it shine - me and you**

**Let it shine - me and you**

**Adventure Time - Marcaline I'm just your problem**

**Pink - Please don't leave me**

**R&R please hope you enjoy**

* * *

Hey Cat,

Guess what?, I cry myself to sleep nearly every night, want to know why? Because your a distant dream to me that will never become real.

Guess what?, I call myself screwed up everyday!, want to know why?, because when you came into my life it was like a flower nice at first then it wilts and it causes pain

Guess what?, I call myself messed up everyday, want to know why?, because since you came into my life I talk to myself, not just the simple one sentence, but I will have full blown arguments with myself and if I don't I break down

Guess what?, people think I should go to a counsellor, want to know why? , because I can't let myself believe that you being with me isn't going to come true

Guess what?, my friends think I'm screwed up in the head, want to know why? Because I talk about you and how much I love you and they think I'm crazy for loving someone I can't have

Guess what?, people try to get me to forget you, want to know why? Because they know that it will never work and they know I'm just kidding myself again

Guess what?, people are proving I can't trust them, want to know why? Because I told them about you and how much you mean to me and they told others

Guess what?, my fantasy is breaking down, want to know why?, because since you got with your new boyfriend you've been unintentionally tortureing me every waking second

Guess what?, even in my dreams I'm not happy anymore, want to know why? Because the truth is slowly seeping through

Guess what?, I'm sobbing writing this because I can't make myself stop thinking about you

Guess what?, I love you, want to know why?, because I have a screwed up brain

Guess what?, I'll never call you mine, want to know why?, because you don't like me

Guess what?, I wish I was him, want to know why?, because he's happy.

Guess what?, I wrote you a paragraph from song lyrics, it took me most of three day, want to know why?, because it tells you how feel. Want t ead it?, well here it is

Its a little bit funny, this feeling inside, I'm not one of those who can easily hide, I don't know where you come from, but your everywhere I go. I still don't know what to say. But how with an open heart how did I read the stars so wrong?,and now its clear to me that everything you see ain't always what it seems,yeah I was dreaming for so long, I wish I knew then what I know now, gravity hurts you made it so sweet until I woke up on the concrete.

Why do I feel so deceived?, guess I believe what I wanted to believe, its perfect in my dreams but nothings really white it seems?. I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.

Going back to the corner, where I first saw you I know it makes no sense but what else can I do, how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?.

I heard that your dreams came true, yes he gave you things I didn't give to you.

Help I have done it again, I have been here many times before. Do you remember when me met? Yeah I was in the dark I was falling hard and I heard your voice and its clear as day, and told me I should concentrate, it was oh so strange and oh so real, only if for a night. I never wanted to you leave, I wanted you to stay here holding me, I miss you, I miss your smile and I still shed a tear, My heart won't let you go and I need you to know.

Don't go , don't leave ,please stay with me, you are the only thing I need to get by. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away I couldn't hide it I hope to see your face and be reminded that for me it isn't over.

Hear my heart bust again, for this is the end, I've drowned and dreamt this moment so over due I owe this swept away I'm stolen. Maybe we're a little different there's no need to be ashamed, you've got the light to fight the shadows to stop hiding it away.

When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love.

I would never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met, I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,

I'd go crawling down the avenue.

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love. I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love

Well a you done, done me and you bet I felt it, I try to beat you but your so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks, and now I'm trying to get back. But I won't hesitate no more it cannot wait.

I won't give up on us even if the sky get rough, giving you all my love I'm still looking up. I don't care If its a day a month a year cos' I gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows open up your mind and see like me, open up plans and damn your free, look into my heart and you'll find love.

I've been trying to do it right, I've been living a lonely life. Dreams they come and go, this is one I fought forever I know, I've been crossing my fingers and always hoping for it to come true.

Your the harmony to my heartbeat. I wanna sing, I wanna shout, I wanna scream till the words dry out, put it in all of the papers I'm not a afraid they can read all about it.

Inhale, exhale I'm tired of it I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us, some day I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.

I will make sure to keep my distance, say I love you when your not listening I give you everything I am all my broken heartbeats. To me I wasn't good enough. I wanna tell you, how much I love you. But you never fall for me so your not heading home to me, we could be closer, when its just us you show me what it feels like to be lonely, you show me what feels to be lost.

The smallest drop in the ocean can start a wave of emotion,my fear I wish I could hold you safe in my arms from here to eternity.

Your so nice and your so smart, your such a good friend. As warm as the sun as silly as fun, as cool as a tree as scary as the sea, as hot as fire cold as ice, sweet as sugar and everything nice. Bright as day, as light as play, as hard as nails as grand as a whale. As mean as a wolf as sharp as a tooth as deep as a bite as dark as the night, as sweet as a song as right as a wrong. As pretty as a picture hanging from a fixture, strong like a family.

I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile you've never loved your stomach or your thighs the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine but I'll love them endlessly I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth but if I do,

It's you, Oh it's you, they add up to

I'm in love with you, And all these little things

And maybe that's the reason why you talk in your sleep and all those conversations are the secrets that I keep. Though it makes no sense to me I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape you never want to know how much you weigh you still have to squeeze into your jeans but you're perfect to me I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth but if it's true, It's you, It's you, they add up to I'm in love with you, and all these little things You'll never love yourself

Half as much as I love you you'll never treat yourself right, darlin'

But I want you to, If I let you know, I'm here for you, maybe you'll love yourself, like I love you oh, And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth, cause it's you, oh it's you, It's you, they add up to and I'm in love with you, And all these little things, I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, But if it's true, It's you, It's you, they add up to, I'm in love with you, And all your little things

I wouldn't wanna have it any other way

It's you oh it's you they add up to i'm in love with you and all these little things Your spinning round and round and round in my head. Your all I ever wanted, but I got caught in the shadow and the background. I'll Apologise for the skies and who i am

I'm sorry I'm not made of sugar, and I'm sweet enough for you, is that why you always avoid me?, I must be such an inconvenience to you, I'm just your problem, I'm just your problem, its like I'm not even a person am I, I'm just your problem.

Just please don't leave me.

Guess what?, I don't have any inspiration anymore, want to know why? Because you make me not be able to think straight

Guess what?, I'm writing this because you don't care, want to know why?, because it hurts to much to talk to you

Guess what? , I feel ashamed saying your name, want to know why? Because it feels like you don't exist other than the dream.

Guess what?, I got upset, want to know why?, because you blew me off for him

Guess what?, that day I saw that post and I knew you lied I cried so hard, want to know why?, because you obviously don't care about me

Guess what?, I would do anything for you, Want to know why?, because your my world.

Guess what?, your the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep, Want to know why?, because I live in dream where your mine

Guess what?, I wish I was as beautiful as you, want to know why?, Because maybe then you'd see why I love you

Guess what?, I hate your new boyfriend, Want to know why?, Not because he is ugly or stupid or any other reason, but because he has you and I don't and I hate him so much

Guess what?, you make me want to disable not just my facebook but my life, Want to know why?, Because every message I see sent between you two is another 10 stakes in the heart

Guess what?, my breath hitches everytime I see you looking at me, Want to know why?, because you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Guess what?, I cry about you. A lot. Want to know why?, because your you.

Guess what?, I'm still not going to let you go, Want to know why?, because I know the real you and I'm scared.

Guess what?, even though your now going out with someone I still look at your profile everyday, want to know why?, because your one of the most inspirational, funny and amazing people I've ever met.

Guess what?, writing you those paragraphs every night made happy, want to know why?, because I could tell you how I feel.

Guess what?, people told me to stop writing them, want to know why?, because they called me obsessed, stalkerish , coming on too strong.

Guess what?, I got told you said to my "friend" you liked her and wanted to get to know her and that you also told her you lead people on, I don't know what to believe anymore. Want to know why because you've both lied.

Guess what?, I was going to ask you to go out with me even though I knew you'd say no, want To know why?, because,because...I don't even know why because I'm stupid I guess

Guess what?, I cut, again because of you. Want to know why?, because I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough to even talk to you.

Guess what?, sometimes I lie down and think , why?, why have you come into my life when you've caused me so much pain?, but then I think good things. Want to know why?, because I love you so much.

Guess what?, I wish you'd say the things you say to him but to me, Want to know why?, because I want to feel special like him.

Guess what?, when I'm around you I mess up, a lot. Want to know why? Because you have that effect on me.

Guess what?, I didn't leave art because I was mad, I left because I couldn't breath. Want to know why?, because you sat next to me.

Guess what?, nearly every song, at least one part of it reminds me of you. Want to know why?, because I can't stop thinking about you

Guess what?, I'd come out (of the closet, even though I like narnia) for you. Want to know why?, because I'd do anything for you.

Guess what?, in my daydreams I dream of taking you to meet my family, going on holiday with you, cuddling with you in bed on saturdays and not getting up because we just simply cannot be bothered

Guess what?, some days I cannot wait to see your beautiful face but others I wish you weren't there. Want to know why? Because some days you brighten up my life but some days you make my life hell.

Guess what?, today (20th November 2012) in the changing rooms I felt like coming over and hugging you and asking what was wrong. Want to know why? Because I love you.

Guess what?, today (21st November 2012) I got worried as to why you weren't in, want to know why?. Because I still feel bad about not coming to ask you what was wrong yesterday (20th November 2012)

Guess what?, you said the same to him as you did to me, "we should get closer" that hurts. A lot. Want to know why?, because it makes me feel like shit. Like I'm not good enough for you well I'm not but it makes me realise it more.

Guess what?, Today (22nd November 2012) I couldn't stop looking at you, my eyes were constantly looking for you. Want to know why? I don't know ask my screwed up brain.

Guess what?, Today (22nd November 2012) in drama you sounded meek when you asked me to move, it sounded like you were afraid I noticed this because I was concentrating. Want to know why?, Because I couldn't stop thinking about you.

Guess what?, I'm crying. Again. Want to know why? Because another message from him to you appeared on my wall.

Guess what?, I know that if I've sent you this and your reading it then your thinking, 'why the fuck can't she just leave me alone, I'm happy so why can't she just leave me alone?' Want to know why? Because I feel as though I pester you and according to others I'm "Stalkerish"

Guess what?, I don't know if I've written this already because I can't muster up the effort to look but the reason I'm pissed off with you and I've been ignoring you is because of him.

I know that's a really shit reason but its how I feel, want to know why?, because he has you and I don't. Because he's happy and I'm not. Because he can kiss you and I can't. Because he can hug you and I can't. Because he can call you "his" and I can't. Because I can't stop looking at you. Because I love you. Because got stupidly angry when Ben sat on your lap and I felt like hitting him. Because I got told you asked advice because you lead people on. Because I feel like breaking down everytime I see one of the messages he sends you. Because I wish I could be him. Because I miss you. I miss calling you Cat. Because it hurts so much to not talk to you. Because I can't stand it when your down or hurt. Because I want to be there when your ill. Because I would do anything for you. Because I wanted to say I would take you to the party. Because I want my daydreams to be real. Because I'm not good enough for you and I never will. Because you will never love yourself even a quarter of how much I love you. Because you will never love me.

Now after that I can fully understand if you never want to talk to me again after you've read that but I just wanted you to know how I really feel about you and I am happy for you that your happy but I'll always be here for you what ever happens and if I act like I don't care I always will and I would still like to go for a walk with you someday soon. so I'm sorry for ignoring you these past days but it just hurts so much and I'm sorry if I've hurt you because it was never my intention

Love From Jade oxo


End file.
